The One Deadly Sin of Changing Habits

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.” ~Woody Allen

Often, you’ll read an article titled “The Seven Deadly Sins of [Insert Topic Here].” But when it comes to changing habits, there aren’t seven deadly sins. There’s just one.

You can do a lot of things wrong when trying to form a new habit:

• jumping in without a plan,
• lacking public accountability,
• not having the right support, etc.

But there’s one mistake that will cause your habit change to fail completely.

The One Deadly Sin of Habit Change

Not doing the habit.
If you don’t do it, it won’t become a habit.

As obvious as that may sound, too many people fail at this one thing.

They start an exercise habit, a flossing habit, a paper-filing habit, or a waking-up-early habit with enthusiasm for a week or two, and then they stop. For whatever reason — work, family problems, or other interests taking over.

Life gets in the way, right?

Sure, but if you’re not doing the habit, the habit will never form. If you want to form the habit, you have to do it regularly.

Let me repeat that and then talk about how to actually do it: If you want to form the habit, you have to do the habit regularly.

That’s how habits form.

You do it one day, then the next, then the next, right after your habit trigger. Soon, it becomes so ingrained that … it’s a habit.

How to Avoid the Deadly Sin

It’s easy to state the obvious, but it’s harder to put it into practice, right? Sure.

Here are some tips for avoiding the One Deadly Sin:

• Just start. Not feeling like doing the habit today? Tell yourself all you have to do is take the first step. Usually, the second step will follow, but if not, at the very least you got started. And that’s what matters most.
• Do it, no matter how small. Need to exercise but don’t have much energy? Do it for a few minutes at least. Need to meditate? Three minutes will do.
• Do it, no matter how badly. Want to form the habit of exercising? Do a quick and simple workout, even if it’s just for five minutes and not your best effort. Quality doesn’t matter when you’re forming habits — doing it matters.
• If you fail, don’t beat yourself up – do it the next day. Let’s be clear: missing one day won’t kill your habit. Feeling discouraged about missing one day and then missing the next and the next is what will kill the habit. So let go of the guilt and just get back on your horse. Start again, immediately.
• If you don’t do it the next day, do it the day after. If you miss two days, don’t let yourself miss a third.
• Figure out what’s stopping you. If you find yourself struggling and missing a day or two, think about why. What’s getting in the way? How can you adjust for that?
• Plan ahead. Life gets in the way, but if you know something’s coming up, think ahead and be sure to get your habit in.
• Engineer success. Knock down the barriers and set it up so it’s harder to fail than to actually do the habit. Public accountability is a good way to do that.

In the end, all that matters is doing it. So go do it already.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ~Aristotle

Reflection

1. What is a habit that you have been trying to form but have struggled with?
2. Have you been guilty of not doing the habit regularly? What has stopped you from doing so?
3. How can you plan ahead and prepare for any obstacles that might get in the way of your habit formation?
4. How can you remind yourself to keep doing the habit regularly, especially when life gets busy or challenging?

Take a moment to reflect on these questions and consider how you can apply these insights to form lasting habits.

Remember, the key is consistency. Happy habit-forming!

Till next time.
RD Bert